A bit of a different post for you today but I wanted to share with you my views on being a young mum. If you are also a young mum I hope you can relate to this!
A little bit about me.
I became pregnant at 18 and my life completely changed as soon as I saw the pregnancy test. I don't no if it was just me but I grew up instantly. Becoming a parent is a complete huge step in anyone's life as you no longer become one, it no longer becomes just us, it becomes three, a family.
I'm not going to lie to you I cried as soon as I saw the pregnancy test as I wasn't ready be a mum. We wasn't ready to be parents! We have only been together 4 months. I was scared that Ben would leave. My life has only just started, I only just started feeling like an adult! Before I get all the comments on contraception, I was on the pill but I was ill at the time she was conceived and the pill isn't 100% when you mix with other pills which I found out the hard way.
Anyway, things had to happen pretty dam fast so we started to meet regularly with a lovely women who helped young parents with what to expect in the future with bills etc so we had an idea of how we would manage.
Ben grew up instantly and got a better paid job and a family car as he had a small 3 door Saxo. I got more hours at work doing a lot of overtime so we could start buying things for our little princess.
With many up and downs along the way we never gave up and found ourselves a 2 bed house we could afford along with bills. Kia was born on the 24th March and we moved in on the 1st April 2012 so things soon happened quickly and we was a little family in our own little home! But doing 2 big steps at once came at a price which you can read below.
Suffering with depression with a young child.
I'm not scared to share this as I have finally fight against it. Suffering with depression was the most hardest thing I have ever gone through. I never wanted to get out of bed, never wanted to get dressed out of my pj's and never wanted to open the curtains, I just wanted to sit in darkness and eat, sleep and cry. I use to cry every time Ben went to work and sometimes he had to take his holidays to look after me as I was in a right state even after me shouting at him and stating I hated him. I couldn't admit to myself I was depressed as I didn't want to feel like a failure and didn't want to let anyone down. I wanted to be a perfect mum! But I soon realized there is no such thing.
Ben's mum took me out one day and I just burst out crying once she said she knew what I was going through, so we went to the doctors there and then and got prescribed anti depression tablets. A few months after taking them I was taking baby steps and finally feeling myself again. I started opening the curtains, getting dressed and then taking a walk to the shop, getting on the bus on my own with Kia and then the biggest step was taking Kia to a local baby group by myself. So no matter how low you get, just remember things can only get better! Ask for a hand from your family and friends and take the biggest step and go get help. It's nothing to ashamed of, its the first step to getting better.
Being a young parent overall.
Being a young mum is honestly the best thing ever! Such a joy! One quote describes being young parent and that is 'we may have met a little early, but I get to love you longer' I regret nothing.
Being a parent at any age is a challenge in its self with changes you have to make, with
- Money being tight
-Your energy levels reaches its lowest
-You can no longer be selfish
-You can no longer come first
-Your priorities will need to change
-There's not a lot of 'me' time
-Quiet no longer exists and when it does, its bad
-Your washing gets twice as much
-You will get back ache just by carry everything you need for a baby
-House is a mess, no point it tidying up yet...
-I wouldn't wear white if I was you...
*But it's all worth it*
People judge young parents to quickly thinking we all do it for an easy way out but you couldn't be more wrong! I have been to collage open days, nursery viewings and applying for jobs. I am currently learning to drive as well as Ben working so hard to provide and working hard to progress. I am so thankful to have such a wonderful little family and a wonderful daddy to Kia who has stuck with me through the toughest. Kia has £400 in her savings already at the age of 2 and we can't wait to watch her grow into an intelligent little girl! We want nothing more than Kia to be happy. I'm not sticking up for every young couples as I no some people do take things for granted and do get pregnant for the wrong reasons but before you judge, make sure you no the full story not just the title.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------
I hope this has helped you, or you can relate to this because us young parents need to stick together. Let's show the judgemental people who's wrong!
I for sure am 100% proud to call myself a young mum and you should be to, whether you're a couple or single, because if you're not happy in a relationship its not healthy to carry on for the child's sake as there will just be row after row and your child will feel it and see it. So my hats go off to you if you're doing it alone! Stuff the haters! Lets make our kids proud!
You're doing a great job :)
Read about Kia's birth story here.
Sorry if this was long and rambling on a bit; I just wanted to share my views.
